About: Tanner's Momma

Posts by Tanner's Momma:

Loneliness is Loud and Clear

I’ve noticed in the past year or so that Chase “pretends” quite often while he is playing.  He will be down in his playroom, playing with legos, or dressing up like Luke Skywalker, or even just coloring and I hear him talking to someone as if he has a playmate.  Now, I’m no stranger to […]


Learning Curve

Chase is almost 6 years old.  He started Kindergarten this year, and the things he has learned and can do never never cease to amaze me.  This is uncharted territory for me, all this “school” stuff… Tanner should be in 3rd grade, and I should be a pro by now… it’s really strange when your […]


What Should’ve Been…

Today as I took Chase by the hand to his Kindergarten orientation, as I scrolled through my facebook newsfeed looking at hundreds of smiling faces in freshly pressed outfits with new haircuts and new backpacks… I couldn’t help but think about “what should’ve been”. Today was bittersweet.  Chase is starting Kindergarten at his elementary school.  […]


You Can Take the Mom Out of Oncology…

…but you can’t take the oncology out of the mom. According to the Severe Weather Laboratory, lightning can strike the same place twice.  They say that it could be a statistical fluke, but it could also be something about that site that makes it more likely to be struck.  Any mom-cologist would agree, our biggest […]


A Surprise Christmas Message from Tanner…

So, last night we saw Theresa Caputo, the LI Medium.  We have seen her before, always in group settings, and she is amazing.  If you’ve ever seen her show, you know she has the funniest personality.  We weren’t planning on going to this event, but like I’ve said before sometimes things just happen for a […]


Time

I have been putting off writing for a long time now.  I thought about writing at back to school time, with all the joys of watching Chase go off to school, and all the pain of looking at first day pictures knowing that I should have had two beautiful boys in my pictures too… thinking […]


I Carry Your Heart With Me

Last week, The Lexiebean Foundation went to Sunrise Day camp, a camp specifically for children with cancer and their siblings on Long Island, to host our annual pizza party and give out nearly 400 goody bags for the kids.  We do this every year, and every year I go with mixed emotions. That morning, after […]


It’s Personal

Last week we had a guy come over to measure our kitchen for new cabinets.  It is the first time I met him, as he came in my front door, and all I knew of him was his first name and the fact that he built cabinets.  As he was measuring, Chase came home from […]


He Changed My Soul

3 years.  How is it possible? I have gotten out of bed and continued breathing for 1,095 days without my son here on this earth.  April 25th, 2011 the world stopped turning and our lives and hearts were shattered as Tanner took his last breaths, snuggled in between Andrew and myself, holding our hands.  How […]


It Hits You Like a Tidal Wave

Sometimes, you think you’re doing great.  I’d even go as far as to say I thought I was having a good day.  I went to work, I came home, I worked out, cooked dinner, did some homework with Chase, took a shower…   I went to clean up some toys in Tanner’s room (we let Chase […]


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