I was thinking yesterday about how different life could be. What if I went to a different high school? The one my grandparents wanted to send me to was St. Dominick’s. I wanted to go to Holy Trinity because all of my friends were going there. If I had listened to my grandparents, would I […]
November 12, 2007 was without a doubt, the greatest day of my life. Andrew and I were married 4 years and had trouble conceiving. My whole life I believed that things happened because you made them happen. If you go to college and get good grades, you get a good job. If you work hard […]
Want to hear something really scary this Halloween? 7 children will die TODAY from pediatric cancer. Pediatric cancer doesn’t pause for holidays or any other day of the year. Today 46 more children will be diagnosed, and 2,555 children will have celebrated their last Halloween last year. 2,555 children will not be wearing costumes this […]
This Sunday was a big deal for me, personally. I completed my first half-marathon. 13.1 miles. This is a big deal because I only took control of my health about a year ago. Growing up I was always athletic, I was on the swimming team in high school and I worked out often. When Tanner […]
It’s September again. A month filled with so many emotions I’m not sure how I’m feeling from one second to the next. I’m not sure what rooftop I need to scream this from, but IT’S PEDIATRIC CANCER AWARENESS MONTH. This in itself is something that drives me a bit crazy, because shouldn’t people be aware […]
You know what’s the hardest part? Being present. We are all busy people. I work full time, I have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old son Chase, who tries to consume my every single free second, and I volunteer as a board member for The Lexiebean Foundation to help other children with cancer. I like […]
There is no such thing as closure. We never close this part of our life, the part of losing a child. It molds us forever. *Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child You learn so much when you speak with other bereaved parents. Every single one of them is going through the same pain, […]
Tanner was 3 years, 5 months and 13 days old when he passed away. From the time of his diagnosis (22 months) on, we lived a new “normal”… normal was weekly trips for chemo, radiation, blood draws, physicals, scans… counters full of medications, injections and constant living on edge – watching him, nervously, for any […]
How is it even possible. How have I continued to wake up for 2 years… 24 months… 730 days…17,520 hours without my son… It has been too long since I touched his face, kissed his beautiful mouth, felt his sweet breath on my face, felt his sweet hand in mine. And, every minute that I […]
Every day when I come home from work, I get off the train and pull right into the cemetery across the street to visit Tanner. I know I’m just visiting his stone, I know he is always with me, I know he isn’t “there”… but his stone his, and keeping it clean (brushing off the […]
