I’ve noticed in the past year or so that Chase “pretends” quite often while he is playing. He will be down in his playroom, playing with legos, or dressing up like Luke Skywalker, or even just coloring and I hear him talking to someone as if he has a playmate. Now, I’m no stranger to […]
Chase is almost 6 years old. He started Kindergarten this year, and the things he has learned and can do never never cease to amaze me. This is uncharted territory for me, all this “school” stuff… Tanner should be in 3rd grade, and I should be a pro by now… it’s really strange when your […]
Today as I took Chase by the hand to his Kindergarten orientation, as I scrolled through my facebook newsfeed looking at hundreds of smiling faces in freshly pressed outfits with new haircuts and new backpacks… I couldn’t help but think about “what should’ve been”. Today was bittersweet. Chase is starting Kindergarten at his elementary school. […]
I have been putting off writing for a long time now. I thought about writing at back to school time, with all the joys of watching Chase go off to school, and all the pain of looking at first day pictures knowing that I should have had two beautiful boys in my pictures too… thinking […]
Last week, The Lexiebean Foundation went to Sunrise Day camp, a camp specifically for children with cancer and their siblings on Long Island, to host our annual pizza party and give out nearly 400 goody bags for the kids. We do this every year, and every year I go with mixed emotions. That morning, after […]
Last week we had a guy come over to measure our kitchen for new cabinets. It is the first time I met him, as he came in my front door, and all I knew of him was his first name and the fact that he built cabinets. As he was measuring, Chase came home from […]
Sometimes, you think you’re doing great. I’d even go as far as to say I thought I was having a good day. I went to work, I came home, I worked out, cooked dinner, did some homework with Chase, took a shower… I went to clean up some toys in Tanner’s room (we let Chase […]
Here’s the thing about being a bereaved parent – it is the constant. It is the new starting point for all other feelings, experiences and emotions. You can feel joy, but you feel joy with a base of sadness, an underpinning of grief. I feel joy when I watch Chase accomplish new things – like […]
I really can’t believe my baby is going to be 4 years old. 4 years ago, on January 30th, 2010, Chase came into our lives, 9 weeks early, a tiny little man, only 3lb 5oz. He was born via emergency c-section and I should’ve known then that his grand “crash” entrance into this world was […]
I was thinking yesterday about how different life could be. What if I went to a different high school? The one my grandparents wanted to send me to was St. Dominick’s. I wanted to go to Holy Trinity because all of my friends were going there. If I had listened to my grandparents, would I […]
