Posts Tagged ‘ tanner ’

What I’d Give for a Moment of Presence…

You know what’s the hardest part?  Being present.  We are all busy people.  I work full time, I have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old son Chase, who tries to consume my every single free second, and I volunteer as a board member for The Lexiebean Foundation to help other children with cancer.  I like […]


Mother’s Day (with a broken heart)…

Mother’s day is my favorite holiday.  I don’t celebrate my birthday really, aside from a little cake, which is more for Chase than it is for me.  I don’t like to celebrate my birthday…. Not because I don’t like getting older, but because getting older is a privilege denied to so many children, like my […]


sometimes I just don’t know what to say…

It’s been a long month, this past March.  Which is funny, because April is always a hard month for me, being Tanner’s angelversary.  But this March was particularly tough…. and with no real concrete reason.  Easter usually puts me on the edge of sanity, being that Tanner passed on Easter Monday.  I always think about […]


I need a sign… to let me know you’re here…

Every day when I come home from work, I get off the train and pull right into the cemetery across the street to visit Tanner.  I know I’m just visiting his stone, I know he is always with me, I know he isn’t “there”… but his stone his, and keeping it clean (brushing off the […]


world cancer day…

why is there a world cancer day?  I mean, seriously, why isn’t it world cancer year?  Why isn’t it what-the-hell-are-we-going-to-do-about-children-dying-day every day of the year??? One day isn’t enough.  Maybe we can get a little advocacy in for a day, but then you know what happens, tomorrow everyone goes back to their normally scheduled programs […]


A New Year Without You

Happy New Year! Everyone I come across wishes this to us, and I say it back, politely.  I’m not sure how I feel, honestly.  Every year that passes is one year further away from when I last held Tanner in my arms.  Another year passes that he wasn’t a part of, and he won’t be […]