Chase talks about Tanner often. We talk about Tanner often, but lately Chase has really been talking about him alot. We were walking through Home Goods Saturday night and Chase wanted to sit in the big part of the shopping cart. He said the seat was where Tanner was going to sit. Chase “plays” with […]
Birthdays just aren’t what they used to be. We used to have a cake, cards, presents… we used to celebrate. Today is my birthday, and I have no desire to celebrate anything. Actually, I wish it would just fade away and be just an average crappy Tuesday. I am overwhelmed by the happy birthday wishes […]
I was thinking yesterday about how different life could be. What if I went to a different high school? The one my grandparents wanted to send me to was St. Dominick’s. I wanted to go to Holy Trinity because all of my friends were going there. If I had listened to my grandparents, would I […]
November 12, 2007 was without a doubt, the greatest day of my life. Andrew and I were married 4 years and had trouble conceiving. My whole life I believed that things happened because you made them happen. If you go to college and get good grades, you get a good job. If you work hard […]
Want to hear something really scary this Halloween? 7 children will die TODAY from pediatric cancer. Pediatric cancer doesn’t pause for holidays or any other day of the year. Today 46 more children will be diagnosed, and 2,555 children will have celebrated their last Halloween last year. 2,555 children will not be wearing costumes this […]
This Sunday was a big deal for me, personally. I completed my first half-marathon. 13.1 miles. This is a big deal because I only took control of my health about a year ago. Growing up I was always athletic, I was on the swimming team in high school and I worked out often. When Tanner […]
It’s September again. A month filled with so many emotions I’m not sure how I’m feeling from one second to the next. I’m not sure what rooftop I need to scream this from, but IT’S PEDIATRIC CANCER AWARENESS MONTH. This in itself is something that drives me a bit crazy, because shouldn’t people be aware […]
Only a grieving parent can understand what it is to be “drowning in grief”. You feel like you’re in a pit of quicksand and as it closes in on you there is no getting out. You can’t breath, you can’t pull yourself up, you have no strength as you lay their wishing that it will […]
You know what’s the hardest part? Being present. We are all busy people. I work full time, I have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old son Chase, who tries to consume my every single free second, and I volunteer as a board member for The Lexiebean Foundation to help other children with cancer. I like […]
There is no such thing as closure. We never close this part of our life, the part of losing a child. It molds us forever. *Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child You learn so much when you speak with other bereaved parents. Every single one of them is going through the same pain, […]
