Posts Tagged ‘ pediatric cancer awareness ’

Happy 6th Birthday Tanner, in Heaven…

November 12, 2007 was without a doubt, the greatest day of my life. Andrew and I were married 4 years and had trouble conceiving.  My whole life I believed that things happened because you made them happen.  If you go to college and get good grades, you get a good job.  If you work hard […]


The Scariest Halloween Trick…

Want to hear something really scary this Halloween?  7 children will die TODAY from pediatric cancer.  Pediatric cancer doesn’t pause for holidays or any other day of the year.  Today 46 more children will be diagnosed, and 2,555 children will have celebrated their last Halloween last year.  2,555 children will not be wearing costumes this […]


I didn’t read the course map…

This Sunday was a big deal for me, personally.  I completed my first half-marathon.  13.1 miles. This is a big deal because I only took control of my health about a year ago.  Growing up I was always athletic, I was on the swimming team in high school and I worked out often.  When Tanner […]



September… Not that we needed a reminder…

It’s September again.  A month filled with so many emotions I’m not sure how I’m feeling from one second to the next. I’m not sure what rooftop I need to scream this from, but IT’S PEDIATRIC CANCER AWARENESS MONTH.  This in itself is something that drives me a bit crazy, because shouldn’t people be aware […]


What I’d Give for a Moment of Presence…

You know what’s the hardest part?  Being present.  We are all busy people.  I work full time, I have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old son Chase, who tries to consume my every single free second, and I volunteer as a board member for The Lexiebean Foundation to help other children with cancer.  I like […]


It’s a Foreign Language…

There is no such thing as closure.  We never close this part of our life, the part of losing a child.  It molds us forever. *Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child   You learn so much when you speak with other bereaved parents.  Every single one of them is going through the same pain, […]


Approaching the Unknown

Tanner was 3 years, 5 months and 13 days old when he passed away.  From the time of his diagnosis (22 months) on, we lived a new “normal”… normal was weekly trips for chemo, radiation, blood draws, physicals, scans… counters full of medications, injections and constant living on edge – watching him, nervously, for any […]


Mother’s Day (with a broken heart)…

Mother’s day is my favorite holiday.  I don’t celebrate my birthday really, aside from a little cake, which is more for Chase than it is for me.  I don’t like to celebrate my birthday…. Not because I don’t like getting older, but because getting older is a privilege denied to so many children, like my […]


The Gaping Hole… 2 Years in Heaven

How is it even possible.  How have I continued to wake up for 2 years… 24 months… 730 days…17,520 hours without my son… It has been too long since I touched his face, kissed his beautiful mouth, felt his sweet breath on my face, felt his sweet hand in mine.  And, every minute that I […]