How is it even possible. How have I continued to wake up for 2 years… 24 months… 730 days…17,520 hours without my son… It has been too long since I touched his face, kissed his beautiful mouth, felt his sweet breath on my face, felt his sweet hand in mine. And, every minute that I […]
Every day when I come home from work, I get off the train and pull right into the cemetery across the street to visit Tanner. I know I’m just visiting his stone, I know he is always with me, I know he isn’t “there”… but his stone his, and keeping it clean (brushing off the […]
why is there a world cancer day? I mean, seriously, why isn’t it world cancer year? Why isn’t it what-the-hell-are-we-going-to-do-about-children-dying-day every day of the year??? One day isn’t enough. Maybe we can get a little advocacy in for a day, but then you know what happens, tomorrow everyone goes back to their normally scheduled programs […]
So I was having this discussion with my husband on a trip to go skiing last weekend… that constant question that always comes up – why my kid? Why did he have to die? Why couldn’t it have been that he beat it? I still believe in the whole “everything for a reason” saying. I […]
Happy New Year! Everyone I come across wishes this to us, and I say it back, politely. I’m not sure how I feel, honestly. Every year that passes is one year further away from when I last held Tanner in my arms. Another year passes that he wasn’t a part of, and he won’t be […]
So, it’s one week until Christmas. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, Andrew and I are trying our hardest and best to give Chase the greatest Christmas ever. We have been decorated, finished shopping, wrapped and ready for weeks now. We took Chase to see Santa more than a few times (and he will […]
“but more than anything, more than anything… My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, you never need to carry more than you can hold… and while you’re out there going where you’re getting to, I hope you know […]
Up here in the Northeast we were brutally hit by hurricane Sandy. Our own home was fortunately not damaged, however we, like many others, were without power for 2 weeks. I learned over that time, that I would not be good at camping. I don’t consider myself high maintenance, but I need to be able […]
Where do we go from here? I don’t mean to start out this blog journey on a sad note, but how can I not, right? Tanner Jayden, my first born son, lost his battle with alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma, a brain and central nervous system tumor at the age of 3 ½. Diagnosed just before his second birthday, […]
